Has anyone tried you to the point where you just could not believe it? You tried to understand what was going on but just could not get over it? You ever had a moment where you just could not forgive someone?!! And when we say forgive and forget can we really ever forget? Speak on it...
Tell about your moment. Explain why you cant forgive that person or if you have forgiven them how did you do so? and what advice do you have for others who seem as if they just can not "forgive and forget"
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I can definitely forgive, though sometimes it can take me a while dependent on the situation. Forgetting? Hmm... until the situation happens again, then yes. I can forgive you for some wrong doing, but let's say you go ahead and do it again... it definitely raises a red flag and makes me remember what happened in the before, how I responded, how you rectified the situation, and so on. I don't think anyone can truly forget. You can say you have forgotten, and try to make yourself forget, but if the situation/problem presents itself again, you're definitely going to remember. Our memories help us make decisions at times, which is why totally forgetting something is difficult.
ReplyDeleteWhere it gets sticky is if you use the events of the past as ammunition to fire back at the person, especially if you've told them that you forgave and forgot. In my opinion, it's probably safer to analyze the past, and go from there, instead of trying to base a complete decision on something that happened however long ago. While the past is the past, and it should stay there, most people don't completely bury the hatchet and wipe the slate clean. It's just human nature...it's somewhat automatic, like a reflex. Scents, sights, tastes create nostalgia, and it's the same with events. So even though we may try our best to truly forget, we can't.
Yea its really hard to just forget the past as if it never happened. We may say we have "forgotten" but how could you really if something really hurt you or really had a life changing impact!
ReplyDeleteIts hard you know because you try to move on but as Humans we just build a natural defense barrier against the next spouse. And its really not our faults ya know. It hurts when I am with someone and my past is affecting me so much that I can not move on and then this person that I am with now is truly all for me and I just can not see that. It takes a lot of faith too! Its hard to forgive and forget if you are not really into your faith ya know. I know im not the the most religious but it kind of just makes sense.
But, I think as a whole we can forgive but we really cant ever truly forget about a moment. Whether good or bad ya know. Its touchy but thats just how things are it really does suck though.
I really just can not hold a grudge. I have been hurt a few times but it I let it continue to affect me it slows my life down drastically! Name one thing that you have dwelled on that has made you get over the moment quicker?!?
ReplyDeleteIt will take a little strength...but you have to kind of accept it first and then internalize it. Or get help from a professional if needed. I cant go to my homegirls for every topic. Or ask an adult who has been through things and kind of seen it all!
But, its not a easy process! It definitely will not happen over night! It takes time!