May 22, 2012

Captains Log: How I am feeling at the moment

Its been a while since I have seen you blog. Well, Captains log number whatever this is. I could care less about typos or correct punctuation or grammar so if this ever happens to reach the public eye if you care about that stuff I suggest you stop reading, NOW! Its just been a crazy month and I just cant stop dreaming, cant stop thinking. The smell of smoke fills the air and I hate when people freaking smoke. Might be the most nastiest shit ever! And I rarely curse so just know Im in one of those moods.

Well, yeah. I owe my new University money and its all good I love it hear so this isn't a bash session by any means. Im just tired and frustrated and I just have all these big goals and dreams and the world on my back and I put them there. Once again I have tried to be the super hero and as every super hero in ever super hero movie they get to the point where they are like I cant take this any more rips off the mask throws the shit in the garbage and goes back to their normal life with their normal problems.

But, as usual some old lady gets approached by a burglar and your options are to let her get her purse stolen and murdered by this low life of a person or step in and conveniently reach into my pocket and OH LOOK, my mask! But im nervous, I got tests coming up and haven't been doing that well on the mini practicals. And of course im worried about the freaking female race and why the FLYING RATS A-hole am I single and how freaking tired of this life I am. TIRED. Thats T-I-R as in Robert or Rice E as in E and a D as in Dese nuts! I know I know, just blowing off the steem (I know its spelled steam but two e's just seems so much more appropriate right now).

And I know I know wahh wahh shut that shhh up stop crying, it could be worse, other people go through more...but theres still alot. Im also a FOOLIE which is supposed to mean im so freaking ambitious that Im supposed to change the world and stuff but that also gets stressful cause then I get messages and texts and phone calls about how proud people are and I gotta keep fighting the good fight. but yeah, (no capitalization GRRRR) I JUST have a lot going on and hopefully I get a cosigner on my loan or something so that I can continue school and not get kicked out and all of that good stuff.

I do this for my mom though, I do this because she fought till her very last breath so why not fight till my very last breath as well. Geez man, stuff is tough. And I pray and stuff and keep good faith and its only a test in my toughest moments to see how much a believe I am but geesh man I feel like Im getting broken down every month and a half lol! I wish my life was perfect sometimes and then I think if it was then I wouldn't have walked the paths I have seen in my life. I just hope it all works out. It always does. I just hope that "always" does happens one mo' gen. I thank my friend homie CP for holding me down and all the other people who continues to do so. Im just in one of those moods and I need to get out of it. I will be fine though. I will be fine. If you ever happen to read this pray for me and my well being and pray for future wife shes a beautiful young lady and I dont know who she is but I know shes gonna be very happy as long as I keep getting that good good lol jk jk but for real though shes gonna be good. I just miss being in love and it may because I just miss my mom. So yeah...natural for anyone who loses someone close to them. Well, Im out this THANG!

Oh yeah, Dont get left behind! FOOLIES


  1. You're not alone Alex. Everyone feels this way one time or another. Keep pushing, you'll get there :)

  2. haha did not know any one would be reading this lol! but thanks I appreciate it!

  3. You're not alone. Everyone has trials. The rough patch will pass.

  4. You're not alone. Everyone has trials and this will pass.

  5. oohh, the captain's log... and how i enjoy them... very much difficult to read even after the disclaimer, but i got through it... just like you'll get through this. whatever this is. just gotta trust and believe...