"feel free to play this song as much as you need to in order to create mood for this post"
A cutty buddy as defined by the urban dictionary is someone who is on your roster who is strictly for sexual relations or booty calls. There are no other ties in that relationship other than the "cut up" you receive from that person.
Rules of Cutty Buddies...
1) As the definition says you have to understand that this person is used for "strictly" sexual relations. Which means that there shall be no texting, fb messaging/chatting, tweeting, instant messaging, phone calls or voice mails left or any contact made with the individual until booty call hours (After 11:35 pm) have been set in motion.
2) After sexual relations occur one must gather belongings and make their way towards leaving the premises. If you are the driver then you should put on your belongings and leave within five minutes after both partners have decided to have ended the sexual encounter. If you are the person picked up you need to be getting taking home by the driver ten minutes after sexual encounter is over.
3) No matter how good the encounter has been YOU CAN NOT kiss your partner on the lips and it is prohibited that one does not spend the night. Spending the night can cause an increase in emotional passion and a sense of like and furthering of relationships outside sexual encounters. The presence of ones warmth for longer than four hours can cause the estrogen level of the female to rise to a level above unattainable.
4) In public one should be on their best behavior. Neither party should ignore or act as if the other partner does not exist. One should be cordial and greet one another as if they are just meeting or like anytime before the encounter. If either party proceeds to act "brand new" or trying to "act out" they will be put on temporary probation until booty call hours arise in order to talk about the situation.
5) A cutty buddy can not be around any longer than 3 months. Any longer than that and this is considered a relationship based on physical attraction. It is very important that one stays within the three month range of having a good cutty buddy. After that they need to either come to an agreement to end the relationship or to take a period of withdrawal and continue in a following month finishing off the number of days that was left in the prior month of the execution of a cutty buddy.
If one abides by these rules they should be able to have a successful cutty buddy and be able to prosper in affairs that require no ties or no emotional strings being drawn.
OKAY, ALL JOKES OVER...Real Talk...
This might have been the stupidist most ignorant bull I have ever written. I understand we all have our moments where we gotta get our own and/or how sometimes you only link with someone sexually but honestly that is no where near a healthy relationship and only destined for drama and foolishness to occur. Value should be taken out of sexual partners and one would not have to go through all this garbage.
The avoiding of calls, texts, the awkwardness in public, etc etc. I wont talk my readers ear off but if you know what it is to have a cutty buddy please know it is like a part time job. You put in so many hours to either get them or performing or making love to them. These efforts could have been being spent elsewhere. And if you complain about never finding anything good its because your still trying to obtain a cutty buddy so expect to get only what you seek. And if you see that your only connected to someone sexually then its time to re-evaluate and probably get out of the situation. And this is by no means a post to judge anyone who engages in these acts because I am not crystal clean as well. But life is about growth...and we all have to do it at some point ya know! But if you feel like your too young to be worrying about all that and you just trying to have fun then by all means do you! It eventually has to come to a close sadly enough...Alright yall, now that I have increase my hits by a hundred or so im out!
Final Thought and quote from my homegirl: Why make love to a thousand when you can love one person a thousand ways...
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lol i was reading this and was like this is interesting
ReplyDeleteHaha Nemo, you killing me with this one!
ReplyDeleteIm feeling #4.. people like acting brand new after the acts have occurred... People need to really enforce this probationary period... haha..
This was a GREAT blog post. I was going into my Senior yr and thinking, I've never messed w/ anyone at UF, and seeing as I had gotten out of 2 long relationships, I figured a cutty buddy is what I needed. I figured I can have sex with someone and not catch feelings, that's easy, I was wrong! Maybe I just didn't follow the 5 rules, but when all is said and done, you end up putting so much work into something that will result in nothing in the long run. Why not put that energy into finding a person you can connect to not just physically but also mentally? It'll be easy for me to get over this cutty buddy since I'm graduating, but for others it won't be so easy. So when considering a cutty buddy....Proceed With Caution! [It was FUN while it lasted though!]
ReplyDeleteThat tis true they are fun while they last lol!
ReplyDeleteAnd yea proceed with caution they are dangerous and I prolly should have posted this at the beginning of the semester. lol!
But that whole getting to know someone mentally and physically we are not there yet...a good handful of people say college is that period to have "fun" but that type of stuff can make you feel kinda empty as well after awhile as well...
But hey it is what it is...thanks for reading KMR
and to others who have read so far I appreciate you too!
This is very funny!
ReplyDeleteLmao. Those rules are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteyea the rules are all completely made up! people gonna actually be trying to abide by these rules silly folk!
ReplyDeleteA real post. Too bad man, I'm already tied down. I dont believe in the cutty buddy system. When the right person comes around, you won't how to handle the situation until its too late because you've become custom to temporary relationships, not permanent or long term.
ReplyDelete