Sex Vs. Foreplay

Salutations to all, I was extremely pumped and energized after my morning run and after my shower I sat down and pulled up my thoughts on this topic. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you ALL the differences between the two because that can either be very evident that they have two different meanings or sometimes overlap. Today my goal is to STRESS the IMPORTANCE OF FOREPLAY!

First of all if your having just CASUAL SEX foreplay of course can occur but at the end of the day you are really only trying to do a good job to 1) satisfy your ego or 2) make sure she/he does not blast you to her respective friends, family and to the next partner she ends up with. And that comment applies to both sexes.

If you are wanting this moment it to be meaningful and fulfilling then I would prefer you save the foreplay for your partner. It just makes things easier that way.

Interesting Fact: Did you know every woman can not have an orgasm? Crazy to think that every women is not as lucky as their male counterparts to reach that state of climax. This is the main reason why intimacy is so very important. In the world of pleasing your partner while reaching an orgasm is something we all would want honestly and truly the woman really more so cares about the moment. The moment of being with you, making love to you, holding, kissing, caressing, touching, teasing, oral stimulation, more kissing, more touching and anything else you can possible think of before you dive right into those sugar coated walls of hers and begin to lay your gingerbread down if you get where I am coming from.

Foreplay is not just something YOU DO to get her excited and then go right in for the kill. Its what makes a woman appreciate every single reason why she fell in love with you in the first place. And yes, I am kinda tailoring the conversation towards my brothers because trust I know how it is you wanna get in and get out sometimes. But then again thats not your "partner" per se that is in regards to a fling, floozy, one night stand, creeping or whatever other sexual jargon that describes that one night deal. And you know what another problem is? When you are in a relationship or even when you are just having "sex" we as males feel as if a womans vaginal canvas has now been sold to us for whenever feel the rights to paint a new portrait inside. Basically, when you get sex from a chick you feel like she always has to give it to you and if she dont she "actin" or she being "flaw." But brothers we forget how hard we worked for it the first time (and you can try to pretend as if your God's gift to woMAN and never had to work for it but we all do at some point.) the sweet words/lies (depending on their intent), the chase the drive, all the things we were willing to do before hand suddenly changes right after the intercourse happens. Now you end up doing less and wanting more. But, that is not really how it all plays out in this ballgame. But, moving back into foreplay...

Once again, Foreplay should not just be something YOU DO! I say it again because it is something many feel like you just "do" to then get it all cracking. Foreplay should really be called Moreplay as it is called in the book "she comes first." The book really talks about how the concept of foreplay or should I say moreplay should be an entity in itself. The kissing the touching the rubbing and undressing and all of these little details that help the woman melt on the inside. In the book mentioned they suggest that foreplay be a good 15-20 minutes on its own. And I know, I know its hard after a long day and you see your girl or your boy and you wanna just rip everything off and yeah those moments can be amazing to but you cant always have THOSE moments so when you are just alone or relaxing and just acquiring each others time the extensive amount of foreplay helps. And foreplay does not have to start from the bedroom it can start from the morning time when you are at work and you can send your boyfriend or girlfriend one of those sext messages and the dirty text talk that gets the blood boiling for whenever they get home. And the building to the foreplay can even come from just the romantic evening you set up whether it is just you popping in her favorite movie or she may have cooked your favorite dish for when you got home. These are the little things in the beginning before the foreplay even begins that makes the moments inside the bedroom even more amazing. So even if you do have that anomaly of a woman who can not reach an orgasmic point at least after its over she can say I loved every moment. Which those words may take some guys out of their game because they are so itching for the chick to "cum." And honestly, it is not going to always happen in that fashion.

So I can go on and on forever and ever but I will leave with ONE HUGE TIP for my brothers...a tip that may save you from getting cussed out or ruining the mood when performing oral stimulation on the female at hand.

1) Do not and I repeat do not and if you have done this already please now and forever stop asking a woman "did you cum yet?" That question might actually be the greatest and absolute worst mood killer for a woman. Instead you ask questions such as "Do you want more?" or "Should I keep going?" and most times a woman will tell you when she wants more or pull you up from between her little furnace down there and demand you make love to her. When you ask "did you cum yet?" it is almost as if you are rushing her and trying to get it to be over and you do not care. Now in some cases for guys we are actually just asking because we want to know and do not just wanna be down there forever but hey man enjoy it and enjoy her and she will pull you up (I Hope) to finish off the love making. And I know this may be a stretch but even just being satisfied that for tonight that is all she may need and just holding her thereafter may be appreciated to. And I know some may be reading like "Okay, Dr. you willin." But you would be surprised.

And men like the last article I wrote during love making make your woman feel good with sex and that she can please you and please you well and hey train her to do what you think is good for you. If she cares she will learn so she can please you as well. But at the end of it all make sure she is satisfied before yourself and make sure you have a woman that wants to satisfy you as well. Because stingy women can not be our friends in any shape or fashion. So the foreplay world works both ways but women need that stimulation a little more cause it just takes them longer to do what we do ya know?


Final Thoughts:
So the books that Alex/Nemo suggested to me to read "She Comes First" and "How To Please a Woman Inside and Out of the Bed" were actually pretty deep but I had to sit down and say "man, what the hell made you buy books about this stuff?" and he basically said that he does not know everything and never wants to get comfortable with thinking he has it all under control. So he "reads to please." And I was like "please who brother?" and he laughed and said "the ladies" but then went on a more serious note or more so rant and stated that it was for his "wife, whoever the hell she may be." And I could not help but to respect it and started reading it. I have been in a relationship for all most 8 months now and while I am happy I just never thought about "doing better" because I felt like I was doing good enough. But as we talked he said you never really can do enough for your partner relationships get "boring and ritualistic" you gotta be able to keep the "spice" he said and its funny because he is single and dropping knowledge on me. Like of course I knew this but still it is something to think about.

Well party people I am now about to leave this place expect another one tonight.

Dr. Do Right
Cause If I aint Right, it aint Tight!

I am working on my slogan I will get it together.

Click: 10 things she wants to hear
Click: Step Ya Game Up

10 Things She Wants to Hear...

Dr. Do Right again figured I would hit you guys with a quick one since I just got finished watching a few good black movies: Love and Basketball and Do the right thing (wink wink) and the Color Purple. Now this next topic is to help men in the efforts of making their partners feel better about having sex. Sometimes women do not feel like they are doing there best and women are usually about making you happy in the bedroom as well if they really do care about you. So with some of these tips below you can really help your partner feel as if they have what it takes to make you happy in the bedroom. Enjoy!

Top ten things a woman wants to hear in bed

1) "I want to make you feel good."
Simple, yet effective. A wonderful way to relax her and reassure her that she made the right decision going to bed with you. Drop this one right before or during foreplay for maximum effect.

2) "I love the sounds you make when you orgasm."
If you know your girl well and know that she does, indeed, orgasm, then this one is for you. And sometimes, even if she does orgasm, a woman feels awkward being vocal during sex. But most of us like a loud woman in bed, because it helps us to know when you're pleasing her. So you can encourage her to turn up the volume by telling her how much you enjoy it.

3) "You have such (a) hot [insert body part]."
Pick a favorite body part to mention, but make it one you know she's proud of. That way, there's no controversy. Women are notorious for being sensitive to clumsy compliments about their bodies, so tread carefully.

4) "I love the way you taste. I could stay down here for hours."
This reassures her that you like giving her oral sex and that there are no foul odors emanating from that area. You can say this one during a short break from oral sex or directly afterwards. It probably comes off best when said in a gravely, semi-exhausted voice.

5) "What are you imagining right now?"
This will encourage her to talk about her sexual desires and participate in setting the mood. The idea here is to let her release any bottled-up fantasies or requests that she would otherwise not mention.

6) "This feels so good. I love it when you [insert action here]."
Again, this is meant to boost her comfort level (and ego) with a little positive feedback. And, hey, if she knows you like something, perhaps she'll take note for future reference.

7) "You're so good at [insert action here]."
Let her know when she's doing something you like. Like us, women take special pride in being good in bed. This phrase is best said with an air of disbelief and an emphasis on "so."

8) "Your skin is so soft and smooth."
Ladies spend a lot of time rubbing things such as cocoa butter on their bodies after a shower. It's time we appreciated this strange ritual with a well-placed compliment. Because this is a seductive remark, it's best to say it before sex. However this could also double for use during pillow talk, taking the place of "Honey, I want to buy you the Benz."

9) "I want to kiss every inch of you."
Women love foreplay and they love to be pampered. Even if you don't actually intend on kissing every inch of her body, she'll know your heart is in the right place. What you're telling her is that you love and appreciate all of her. It's very comforting to hear.

10) "I've never felt this good before."
Women love to be singled out as special, different and unique. If she does something to you in bed that has never been done so pleasurably before, tell her as much. Say it so sincerely that she thinks you're going to name your car after her. Just don't trip up and say something like "It's the best ever," which would be overdoing it.

(bonus stuff)
"You're so *(expletive)* hot!"
Straightforward is often the best way to go. And swearing is one way to tell her that you really mean it. Women often respect the take-charge John Wayne routine.

DIRTY TALK
There are two ways to talk dirty: aggressive and tame.

Aggressive, in which you order her around and even degrade her a little bit. You must start small and feed off of her reactions and replies.

Tame, in which you comment on her body and things you imagine doing to her without using any derogatory words.

Be sure to gauge how she reacts to what you say. If you've been dating for months and suddenly break out the dirty talk in bed, she might be a little taken aback by your potty mouth.

CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY

It shouldn't come as a shock that women love men who say all the right things. It's the second best way they like us to use our tongues. So study the phrases above and adapt them to your own ends.

Provided by Askmen.com I had to site my sources. Reading is a gift so therefore I use it and make myself better!

Step Ya Game Up

So I saw a movie preview for Step Up 3D and right before I changed the channel I thought to myself how great would it be if I provided the viewers with a few tips on how to get their game up in the love department. So this piece is going to have a lot of random thoughts for men and women but none the less I hope both parties can appreciate the insight.

First let me address my brothers of this day and age. I really need my brothers to step up the intimacy game and put a pause on chasing these random women because in this day and age I have learned that the one night stands and the quick flings are great for the moment but it is almost like a quick high and then you need another hit if you get what I am saying. After awhile you just end up in a state of depression so and and so forth. None the less you understand where I am coming from.

Here are a few things that I have collected to help me with my very own relationship. Now, trust me when I say building a level of intimacy with someone is know easy task but with practice things really do become perfect. Ready?!?!


Rule #1) Take time out to share your deepest feelings with one another.

Sometimes its just a great feeling to know how much your partner truly cares for you and how much you want the relationship to grow or prosper or where you need to improve. Even if its just feelings about life or the things you have been through just being there to just share as much as possible with the person you care about will open up new doors for you and your partner.

Rule #2) Find Moments to Lay Together

Just being up under the person you care about may be revitalizing. No talking no nothing just you and your partner appreciating what is there. An occasional kiss or two or just affectionate touches and occasional eye contact. Let your body language speak the words that your mouth would be saying to them. Just find a good 10, 20 min or if you can extend that time to about an hour or so then great. But just the bare minimum.

Rule #3) Do something sweet just because

Do not wait for the holidays or some stupid cliche time to get your partner something nice. Even if its their favorite candy or you saw something in the store that reminded you of them just get it and surprise your partner. Get a card to just say you care or even make a card saying you care. Beat them home and cook dinner tonight even though it was their turn to cook. One has learned that it is the smallest of things done that gets appreciated the most. And it is all easy and affordable things because everyone does not have stupid amount of funds to do things but you dont even need the funds just need the "heart" and the concept of "care" honestly and truly. Because you can have millions of dollars and still not be using your money out of sincerity but only for some purpose or goal.

Hopefully, some of this stuff help. I could have included sexual intimacy but I will save another day for a full out topic on just sexual intimacy.

Now...off to some other random things that I thought about within my day...

Did you know that eating fruits can make you TASTE better?


Ladies you better run to your local grocer and make it happen. Why not taste better than ever for your partner. I heard pineapples from an article I read over but then I saw something else that just said fruits in general can do the job. So try it and then let me know if anything improves ladies.

Fellas A few books you might wanna pick up...Surprisingly when I spoke with Alex (nemo) about the subject he suggested these books...

She Comes First


How To Please A Woman in and out of Bed


All available via Amazon so you can always go there and check these things out and they are fairly cheap. So Alex pretty much help me out as well because I just ordered both of these books today! I have several books on other topics but none the less I can add to the repertoire of being better for my partner.

Always push to be better than you were when you started the relationship...

And on that note good night!

-Dr. Do Right
Cause If I Dont Do Right, Then Who Will?

Dr. Do Right

Hello and good night everyone. First and Foremost, I want to thank "Nemo" "ATG" or whatever he may respectfully call himself for giving me this opportunity and allowing me to have my very own column in his blogspot. To the readers you can refer to me as Dr. Do Right. I am here for all your relationship needs. If you have a question that has been troubling you, need some new things to do with your partner or just any general advice towards your relationship I am here to give you a very unbiased and honest yet insightful opinion in regards to whatever it is that may be troubling you or not troubling you for that matter. So enough with the introductions how about we dig right into the main course, shall we?

Todays Topic: "If You don't do it someone else will."

There are a lot of people who feel like they should not have to change themselves in order to be in a relationship. Others may feel that "if he/she truly loves me then he has to deal with whatever he/she gets." BUT, in actuality they CAN and/or WILL up and leave you and find someone to be that "something" that you are not. In other instances the person may leave because you refuse to change who you are and while that is kind of the same thing I just figured I would address it from several angles. I will say that it is hard to believe that someone would really have the nerve to think that they are going to keep a man/woman and really just pick and choose what they want and do not want to do in a relationship.

In my opinion (and I say this so that there is no confusion) to be in a relationship you have to be self-less. Now, I am not saying to just do "everything" that the person commands you to do because that is pure foolishness. When you care about someone sometimes sacrifices are taken in order to show each other that you are really all about them and if it does not seem like this is the case then not then that may be the end all be all. Basically, what I am saying is that you can not keep a one minded mentality when you jump into a relationships with others. Just thinking of a few concepts such as "support" or "affection" and how much of a key component that these subjects both play in regards to any relationship. It would really suck to know that the person you think is in your corner is not even supporting you in times of need. Also, I am sure that we can agree that there is nothing worse than the feeling of being IN a relationship and feeling desolate all at the same time. I would continue but, I am quite positive that you understand me the topic and where I am headed. So...To the ladies and gentlemen that may be reading this post here a few messages I will leave you guys with...

To my brothers if your lady says "babe come with me to the mall" or some random "girlie" task I know its usually the norm to pass them the keys and tell them go ahead or to even drop them off but at least once or twice try to go out and kick it with your lady because that could be the perfect moment for another Mr. Right to swing through when you were just being lazy. While it may be a stretch it can definitely occur. And with this I am not saying becoming a puppet for whatever your partner is suggesting but just know that whatever you do not do can easily be replaced by someone who is hungry and willing to do it.

To my sisters your most problematic issue stems from the thoughts of "giving fellatio." Now, I understand that this may not be THE most favorite option for you but if you do not do it someone else will and if you have a good man and he does it all for you then I do not see why you can not extend the favor. Just like you expect a guy to dive between your thighs and perform sexual favors on you until the sun takes its breath on a new day then you can and may need to grab hold of the joystick of life and learn how to get aHEAD of the game if you get my drift.

The name of the game is Compromise. Compromising is not easy but it is something that you will have to learn to be good at when it comes to relationships. Being able to find happy mediums or level grounds on a certain issue can and will definitely be that push or shove or spin that the relationship needs in order to achieve success. But as the topic stated "if you dont do it someone else will." This phrase may be small but it speaks volumes. Just try that is all any partner can ask for just the thought of them trying to do something that they do not normally do. Stepping out of their shell, their box all that. Or you can be stubborn and let a good thing pass you by forever and ever Amen.

Well, on that note I am going to make my way to a couch or bed depending on how I feel and catch some well needed rest.

Sincerely,

Dr. Do Right
-Cause If I dont Do Right, then Who will!