How to be a Hater

So before you go into reading this blogspot posts go ahead and grab you some hater blockers, and play any song in regards to hating that you can possibly find!! I just went ahead and cued and entirely playlist of a bunch of songs in regards to ninjas hating on someone...alright...now getting into things...

So this blogspot is to being used to teach you how to become the best and greatest hater you possibly can become...No ones happiness and good fortune is safe!! Some of you guys may already have a few years of experience so just feel free to chime in on how we can all become better HATERS

Now, there are only 2 rules to being a great hater because they encompass soooo much and you can always switch up how you use these tools in regards to your environment, location, etc!

Rule #1
Bring Em Down

Simple!! Anytime anyone comes in your proximity with some type of positivity just go ahead and say something off the wall and make sure that there life is now in a state of bitterness and hurt!

Example of two students discussing their test grades back after a big exam: ACTION!!

Girl 1: yea, I studied for the past two, three weeks and really put in the time and made sure I was prepared for this exam and got a B+

girl2: a B+ thats it?!?! I got an A! man, I guess thats what happens when you TRY to study but just are not as good as, well, ME! But maybe next time though I heard everyone got at least a B so being that I got an A must mean im the smartest!

Saw how that worked!?! Now, you can practice as much as you need to and make sure you become as effective and a hurtful as possible!

But it does not just stop there?!?! It can be done via facebook, twitter, text, skype and all that as well! if you see someones status that says

Nemo: "Man, today has been so great, I got into Med School and have a great girlfriend who loves and cares about me" (NOT A TRUE STORY, JUST AN EXAMPLE LOL)

You can do a few things you can comment on their status and make it seem like a joke or you can send em a text...hold on let me get you an example for the response to that message...

You can say something simple like "SO!" or you can say "Well, did all that cheating you did in biochem class and looking at my notes get you that far or did you BLOW THE TOP OFF EVERYONE ON THE BOARD TO GRANT YOU A WAY IN!"

Now thats some good stuff...or you can text these same responses as well and feel free to improv as much as possible and throw in a few lies that are not true as well! Make it good!

Rule #2
do the OJ Simpson

Caucasian Women do not worry, this is more so just an analogy of how to be a good hater by being a backstabbing, two face individual kinda a person around your friends and the people around you!

You have to be that kinda person that talks about someone when their around but when they do come in your face you have to become overly friendly and just make the person you were talking about feel like you are the closest friend they have. Make it seem like your really caring, a listener, and really wanna see the best for them and then when they least expect TELL EVERYONE WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU!

Trust, you will elevate your level of hating to a new height with this one!

I mean and dont stop at just one or two friends try to backstab your whole crew, mom, dad, lost cousin, a stranger or anyone that just seems to be doing extremely well. Do you see an Mom and Pop Store getting an extreme amount of business this week? Just whisper to a few people that they just found rats and roaches during inspection to someone who might have been walking in the door...Word will spread and eventually they will shut the place down! but when you see the owner you just say something like "man, I dont know how this happened, I tell all my friends about this place!"

Is hating hard you ask?!? NOOO WAAYYY, its really simple...It might be so simple that a caveman might rather do a organic chemistry equation than even attempt to do something so ridiculously simple!

But yea I digress, NOW GO OUT AND BE GREAT HATERS!!!